Had a horrible nightmare last night. I dreamed of my dad having a heart attack, slowly lost his consciousness and collapsed in front of me. Leaving me alone and being helpless there, I was devastated. I woke up in sweats and feeling grateful that it was just a dream. It was the worst dream I ever had. Finally I could understand how's the patient's family member feel. The sorrowfulness from their eyes which could never be described in words. Did I ever mentioned a patient's wife crying in front of me in ICU two weeks ago with all the worries she had?
Working in hospital is a love hate relationship. Yet, facing patients or their family members is not that bad though. The worse part is having to face certain colleagues who you don't like everyday. Not to forget, the presentations, the log books, the rules and the repeated working routines.
Speaking honestly, I'm unhappy with my current life.
|How I wish life is as simple as having a cup of coffee, lay back and enjoy the sunshine.|
Dear God, please give me some courage to survive through all theses.